We're not just international. 
We're global.

Welcome to the world's largest non-existent company.

We do business in 289 countries and employ over a quarter of a million people, but you've probably never heard of us. But you have heard of our brands. We're a leader in the teen tabaco market, a household name in comfort pharmaceuticals, an innovator in automatic weapons, a breath of fresh air in petroleum products and a legend at your supermarket.

Mobirise

Our Brands.

Problably already in your home...

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Meet the Wemetco People.

You may call them snackers or smokers or drinkers or just medicated. We call them Our People. Because here at Wemetco it's not just about better products, it's about better lives.

We may be a huge multinational, but we still love to see people jump.

And you might recognize a few of these brands...

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ZonkCola
More of everything.

You wanted it, you got it. More caffeine and sugar than any drink in history with a few ingredients you could never imagine. 

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Steed
A teenage favorite.

Today's generation is down-to-earth and strong and they expect the same from their cigarettes. We hear you.

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Brandless
No label. No Problem.

Whether it's hamburger spice mix or dog food, toothpaste or rectal ointment, a label is a waste. We save you trouble and money. 

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Fuego
Automatic weapons for today's hunter and homemaker.

See a sneak preview of our latest model - now with beer bottle opener as standard equipment.

Why you should buy stock in a non-existent company.

"Sounds great, tell me more.."

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+5551 555 55 55551
(Our operators in Kazakhstan are standing by...)


Offices
  • Abu Dhabi, Abracadabra, Accra, Addis Ababa, Algiers, Amman, Amsterdam, Andorra la Vella, Ankara, Antananarivo, Anywhere, Apia, Ashgabat, Asmara, Astana, Asuncion, Athens, Baghdad, Baku, Bamako, Bandar Seri, Bangkok, Bangui, Banjul, Basseterre, Beijing, Beirut, Belfast, Belgrade, Belmopan, Berlin, Bern, Bishkek, Bissau, Bogota, Brasilia, Bratislava, Brazzaville, Bridgetown, Brussels, Bucharest, (HouseArrrest), Budapest, Buenos Aires, Cairo, Canberra, Caracas, Cardiff,



More offices
  • Castries, Chisinau, Conakry, Copenhagen, Corner of Fifth and Vermouth, Cross-Town From Easy Street, Dakar, Damascus, Dhaka, Dili, Djibouti, Dodoma, Doha, Dublin, Dushanbe, Edinburgh, Freetown, Funafuti, Gaborone, Georgetown, Guatemala City, Hanoi, Harare, Havana, Mexico City, Minsk, Mogadishu, Monaco, Monrovia, Montevideo, Moroni, Moscow, Muscat, N'Djamena, Nairobi, Nassau, Nay Pyi Taw, New Delhi, Niamey, Nicosia,  Whatever, Nouakchott,

Even More Offices
  • Nuku'alofa, Oslo, Ottawa, Ouagadougou, Palikir, Panama City, Paramaribo, Paris, Phnom Penh, Podgorica, Port au Prince, Port Louis, Port Lessby, Port MoresbyPort of Spain, Port Vila, Porto Novo, Prague, Praia,  Pretoria, Bloemfontein, Cape Town, Pristina, Pyongyang, Quito, Rabat, Reykjavik, Riga, Riyadh, Rome, Roseau, Saint George's, Saint John's, San Jose, San Marino, San Salvador, Santiago, Santo Domingo, Sao Tome, Sarajevo, Seoul, Singapore, Skopje, Sofia, Soundcheck,

And Still More Offices
    Stockholm, Suva, Taipei, Tallinn, Tarawa Atoll, Tashkent, Tbilisi, Tegucigalpa, Tehran, Thimphu, Tirana, Tokyo, Tripoli, Tunis, Ulaanbaatar, Vaduz, Valletta, Vatican City, Victoria, Vienna, Vientiane, Vilnius, Warsaw, Washington D.C., Wellington, Wherever, Wherethehell, Wherewithal, Windhoek, Yamoussoukro, Yabouti, YaboutiCall Yaounde, YouTubia, Yerevan, Zagreb, Zebras-Run-Amuck

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